Overwhelmed :)

Forgive me for being as overwhelmed as I am now… I am just so happy that the article I contributed to Philippine Daily Inquirer is published! And I wanna share it with you!  click here to view it online!

With all my information-loaded and perfomance-filled classes today, the text I received from a relative that she just read an article written by me in the said local paper made my day! I had no idea it was gonna be published because the article was supposed to be just a blog post when I took my spare time to write during typhoon Falcon's attack to Philippine islands. It was a random and an unplanned decision to actually submit it to youngblood.

But hey! God never fails to surprise me!

Writing means a lot to me..:’) Praise You Lord!

♥, C

Of Dreams, Realizations and Treasures

 I always find myself lost into the world of daydreams: I wonder what my first job would be when I graduate from college. I picture myself entering the corporate world, the busy schedule of the people who write and organize events of big companies, things like that. I dream big, so big that from time to time I talk to God asking for assurance that there’s nothing wrong with that.

When I look at my life right now, I can’t stop but dream. I dream of having a big room with walk-in closet, shoes piled up and organized, clothes hanged beautifully around. There’s another room inside my big room and I want to call it my “reading room”. An enormous shelf is conspicuous with its numerous books arranged in different genres. I’ve been at friends’ rooms that are almost similar to what I picture and all I mutter upon leaving those rooms is the word “someday” with an expectant smile.

I dream of driving my own car around the city, stopping over at a fancy restaurant and being able to buy the food I want to bring to my family as “pasalubong”. I want to buy my nephews and nieces the toys they want. I want to give mom the imported chocolates that are too expensive at the moment. I don’t know if that’s being selfish but I just find myself having these desires for things I haven’t experienced in my life that others my age have: not having to do all chores that a helper ought to do, not worrying about the things that parents should be the one worrying about, not restricting the self  to spend on cravings just because I have to save for my tuition fee next semester. I don’t want to compare my life to others’ because I know full well that God has unique great plans for each one of us but from time to time I just wonder what if I have both my parents to support me— financially and emotionally--, what would my life be like?

I know there are millions of others in this world whose life's stories are far worse than mine. There are those who cannot even eat 3 meals a day, those who walk miles just to get to and fro school, those who shove plastic bottles and recyclable wastes in the garbage bags that rest on every corner of streets and those who have to grow up without the presence of a mother and a father. I appreciate all I have when I think of them and it gets me into this longing to be able to extend a hand to them especially when I already have a stable job and the means to provide.

As a matter of fact, all I have experienced and all I have now contribute to how strong I am and to what perspective I have. If I have not gone through the many complexities of life, would I have this deep and intense desire to establish this image of my “dream” family someday? Yes, as early as now I think of my future husband and kids.  I want to be a great wife to my husband, becoming all I’m intended to be with God’s guidance and not letting separation come our way. I want to be the greatest mom in the world, providing my kids a life enveloped with the genuine love and affection of a family as a whole.

Don’t think I’m bitter for whatever I have now. No. Way no. I love my family despite of the questions I once asked God. They are my treasures. I’m rather thankful for everything I have because if it weren’t for the obstacles I faced, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Nothing can detach me from the principle that “everything has a purpose and happens for a reason”. Hence, I want to pursue excellence and chase success. With that thought planted in my mind, I am motivated to work hard and not settle for mediocrity.

Now as I write, I’ve come to this realization how a blessing it is  to grow without a helper—I can wash clothes and dishes and cook (still learning and long way to go though) , to be given responsibilities earlier than usual—lots of friends come to me when it comes to decision-making and the like, to not getting the things I want easily—I’m tested with patience and I’m taught with prioritizing needs over wants. I really thank God for these life’s lessons!

When the time comes that I’m on the brink of prosperity and success, I want to always remind myself not to invest on temporary things but rather on treasures in heaven--where moth and rust do not destroy. I also do not want to forget how riding on jeepneys and walking when needed taught me to be patient and to always level myself equally with every human being, how the absence of a father ignited that spark of hope and assurance that my kids would grow up with a father’s presence and with the overflowing love of their mother and how all my dreams coming true traces its roots back to God who has been faithful in my life and who has looked at me with worth both when I am lacking and when I am achieving.

When the world has become too dangerous…

The world around me is turning into a monstrous place. Scary.  Dark. Perilous.

When I watch the news at night, my heart breaks with all that’s happening nowadays.  Violence is everywhere. Death lies on every corner of streets. Hold-ups, rapes, gunshots and other forms of atrocities are becoming too familiar that I am not as shocked anymore as I used to be. Talk about immunity. But when the day has ended and I’m about to drift off to sleep, I am bothered. Thoughts come flashing my mind, questions arise and when I am in sleep I am taunted in my dreams.

I myself have been deeply saddened and disturbed upon hearing the tragic news about the death of my co-student during my freshman year in UPLB, Given Grace Cebanico. I don’t know her personally but I’m sure to have seen her or passed by her a few times last year. The situation she had to face made me weep. Images began forming my imagination and I couldn’t sleep the night I heard the news. I thought of the people close to her, especially her family. All I can do is pray. I asked God the whys and I realized I have no right to question. I may not understand all that’s happening in the world but He does. And none of us can fathom His purposes for all that’s happened and will happen in the future.

I remember when I was in UPLB, I would always pray for safety whenever I’d go out.  And when I transferred to Diliman, I thanked God that nothing happened to me during my 1-year stay in a dorm inside the campus of UPLB the previous year. Now I appreciate God’s guidance more but, to be honest, sometimes I still thought it unfair that while I’m safe, others aren’t. But then again, only God has the answers.

I’ve been paranoid this week that when I’d go out of the house and ride on a jeepney, I’d sense fear. I’d think that people around me are dangerous. I’ve become so bothered that something might happen to me any minute. I’d think of my friends who are at different places.  I’d worry about my family and friends.

I asked God why the world is turning into a darker hue. Then I realized that this sinful world is not yet our home and so evil spirits wander around. Even though God has power over the enemies, unpleasant things still happen because the earth is not the place where pain and suffering do not exist. This is not our home. The place we can can call home is this:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.

“But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Then one of the seven angels who held the seven bowls containing the seven last plagues came and said to me, “Come with me! I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.”

 So he took me in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and he showed me the holy city, Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God. It shone with the glory of God and sparkled like a precious stone—like jasper as clear as crystal. The city wall was broad and high, with twelve gates guarded by twelve angels. And the names of the twelve tribes of Israel were written on the gates.There were three gates on each side—east, north, south, and west. The wall of the city had twelve foundation stones, and on them were written the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

The angel who talked to me held in his hand a gold measuring stick to measure the city, its gates, and its wall. When he measured it, he found it was a square, as wide as it was long. In fact, its length and width and height were each 1,400 miles. Then he measured the walls and found them to be 216 feet thick (according to the human standard used by the angel).

The wall was made of jasper, and the city was pure gold, as clear as glass. The wall of the city was built on foundation stones inlaid with twelve precious stones: the first was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, the fifth onyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst.

The twelve gates were made of pearls—each gate from a single pearl! And the main street was pure gold, as clear as glass.

 I saw no temple in the city, for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. And the city has no need of sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its light. The nations will walk in its light, and the kings of the world will enter the city in all their glory. Its gates will never be closed at the end of day because there is no night there. And all the nations will bring their glory and honor into the city. Nothing evil will be allowed to enter, nor anyone who practices shameful idolatry and dishonesty—but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.- Revelation 21

I admit that many times I fear death. I would say to God, “Lord please don’t fetch me yet, I still want to see my kids and grandchildren live.” But to elude the fear of death that forms in me, I’d imagine this place God has been preparing and I’m in awe. I know it’s meant for His children and we’ll all be with Him forever there.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

Last night when I had my devotion and prayed hard, God provided me with Psalm 55:2 (NLT), “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” I wept and laid down all my anxieties at His feet. I found His comfort and again I was reminded of who He is.

“For the Lord your God is the God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, the mighty and awesome God, who shows no partiality and cannot be bribed. He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing.” Deuteronomy 10:17-18

God is a God of love and justice. His promises are true. When He said in Deut. 31:6 that He will not abandon us, it is true. When He said in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has great plans for us, no doubt about that.  Sometimes the situations right before our eyes seem to not align the promises He made but we just have to focus on who our God is and seek Him. We don’t need to always get answers and make sense of things, standing firm on our faith is what matters.

I encourage you all (and I’m saying this to myself as well) to seek comfort in God and be strong in faith no matter what situation you’re in. All of us have different worries, fears and problems but what we have in common is a Great Father and Comforter. When the world has become too dangerous for us, know that God is in control. When the world has turned into a monster, know that our God doesn’t and He remains after the day has gone and things on earth have passed!

I wanna share the song that just made me cry....

One thing I know that I have found
Through all the troubles that surround
You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/n/new_life_worship/everlasting_god.html ]
One thing I know that I believe
Through every blessing I receive
You are the only One that stays, You always stay

Chorus
You never change, You're still the same
You are the Everlasting God
You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed
Everlasting God

Hope this inspires you!

♥, C

Why Can't We?

            After listening to a very inspiring message about what love is and isn’t in today’s service, I couldn’t help but think of my Father who has shown the one perfect and unconditional love there is: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. -John 15:13”. It’s just so amazing that someone perfect and holy would shed blood for you and me who don’t at the slightest deserve such grace. But by His stripes, we are healed. And it’s all because of love.

            What struck me most to write my thoughts here is the realization upon looking back at the life of Jesus here on earth. What a perfect epitome of selfless love that if we would just be considerate of others and not think of ourselves first, the world would be a much better place with less conflicts and chaos.

            If only we would just think of how a jeepney driver has to work just so he could provide 3 meals a day for his family, then perhaps we would refrain from growing impatient as he steps on the jeepney’s break every so often and waits for passengers to fill in. If only we would think of the situation of an old woman who has become weak of aging as we struggle to go ahead of her in the elevator, then perhaps we would slow our pace and let her get in first. If only we would think of the feelings of those we’ve hurt and the harm that we have brought to them, then perhaps we would be more forgiving when someone else has done us wrong. If only we would not be so selfish that we are too occupied thinking of our own comfort and favor, then perhaps we would have healthier relationships with other people since it is most likely that we would care for them enough to always check on their emotions and not ours.

            Jesus was patient with the people’s imperfection, loved them selflessly and did not keep records of wrongs, as what the Bible says about Love in 1 Corinthians 13:4. If Jesus could forgive without looking back at a person’s fault, then why can’t we? Would we want Him use on us the standards we use on other people? I myself have difficulties in just forgetting the negative things that someone has done to me but I always remind myself that I have been hurting my Father in so many ways all the days of my life and yet I have been repeatedly forgiven and loved the same. He is my God and I should live that attitude that He has. In that way, people will see who He is through me and I can let Him use me in extending His kingdom.

            I know it will be difficult for us to live and act as Christ did but I challenge you all (even myself) that we can. Not by ourselves but by the grace of God. We are weak but He is strong. We are imperfect but He is perfect. Let’s have that partnership with God and work together. After all, if Jesus our Savior could do all this by trusting and holding on to His Father while He was here on earth, then why can’t we? We are God’s children after all.