Sarah
Andy and I have been together for 6 years. Earlier today, I decided that we need space. We would isolate ourselves in silence for one week and listen completely to God’s voice and what He wants to tell us with regards to our relationship. It’s not like I’m planning to break up or whatsoever. It’s just that we have had too many arguments for the past week and we both need to clear our minds off of all perplexities. And the best advice we could get is from the One who is the center of this relationship.
I know men and women are different and I’ve been aware of our differences for that long stretch of time but lately I’ve just been feeling exhausted because no matter how we try to understand each other, it seems that we just can’t.
Last Friday night, I asked him to accompany me to do a quick shopping spree. I needed a dress for a school event on Valentine’s Day. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop near my school. 6pm sharp. I was there earlier and so I grabbed a magazine from the counter and decided to browse through the pages to kill time. I read and read. The moment I checked my watch, it was 6:15. I texted him and asked if he was already near—he knew how I am a stickler when it comes to time and I just hate waiting alone.
I could feel my blood starting to boil when the clock told me it was 5 minutes before 7. I couldn’t contact his phone and he wasn’t replying to my messages. I was about to leave the coffee shop when he came bursting through the glass doors. He explained himself to me and eventually, I got a little calmer. We then proceeded to do the shopping.
I raised two dresses with both hands up in the air when I asked him what’s better between the two. He just stared at me and back at the dresses for 5 long seconds and said “They’re the same. They both look beautiful.” Ugh! Why couldn’t he be specific? I got even more irritated when he went to the store’s couch and sat down.
The other day he asked me what I wanted for dinner and I just said “anything” because that was really the truth. I mean, what matters to me is that we eat together so at that time I couldn’t think of anything else. I asked him if he had anything in mind and his sudden change of expression told me he was kind of annoyed because I was supposed to answer the question.
Last night I was just really down because I remembered the days when our relationship had just started. There was that brilliant spark between us that overcome our misunderstandings back then. I miss the times when we wouldn’t even mind our small arguments because we were SO in love. I miss the times when he was never late in our dates. I especially miss the times when he was courting me. I don’t like the changes that occurred. But I’ve known, I’ve known deep within that there will really be times when we’d feel nothing at all for each other. That phase in a relationship when the feelings just seem to have gone into a far, far away place.
After these thoughts had bombarded my mind, I found myself searching for my Letter Box where all his letters to me were kept. The first thing that caught my eye was his very neat handwriting:
Sarah, We will hold on to this when things are falling out of place. I love you and I always will.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
ANDY
Sarah and I have been together for six years. We have been through many ups and downs and we have been strong all along. Just earlier today, I couldn’t understand why she told me that we needed space until she opened up that she feels we need to listen closely to what God is saying. Perhaps this is another phase that will make us stronger.
Yes, we are different in myriads of ways. But that doesn’t matter to me. What hurts me is the idea that she may be tired of me or I’ve had too many shortcomings. But I dispel the thought away because I know what we have is deeper than that. Right now I want to look closely to what has happened lately that caused that gap between us.
Last Friday night, she asked me to accompany her to do a quick shopping spree. I was eager because I felt we had a lot of catching up to do since we’ve been very busy lately. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop near her school. 6pm sharp. I was ready before the clock even hit number 5. But something happened that caused my delay. I was washing my hands at the kitchen sink when the faucet broke, pouring floods of water over me, and soaking my clothes and the phone inside my pocket. I had to fix the waterline and I couldn’t tell Sarah because my phone went completely dead. To make matters worse, I was alone in our house at the time.
I made it to the coffee shop a little before 7pm. I saw Sarah impatiently leave her seat and walk towards the door. I ran up to her and apologized, laying down all the details of what had just happened. She seemed to feel better after that.
I thought everything’s perfectly fine as we went on shopping until she was disappointed once more. She asked my opinion as to what I thought is better between two dresses. I eagerly imagined each dress on her and I saw how beautiful she’d look. She amazed me with her graceful movements as she held the dresses up in the air. I muttered a “They’re the same; they both look beautiful,” because I had no second thought that both dresses would look as lovely on her. What happened next was something I didn’t expect. She pulled a long face and turned her back on me, diverting her attention to other dresses. I didn’t know what I did wrong or if I said anything that was offensive. I just went to the store’s couch and sat there.
The other day, I asked her what she wanted for dinner because I really wanted to bring her food that she really wanted. She just said “anything” and I don’t like the idea that I was clueless. I was afraid I’d bring her something that she doesn’t like. She then asked me what I wanted and it just didn’t seem right. I am the guy and I want her to let me lead the relationship and pursue her even in small ways.
Sometimes things between us get blurred. But no matter what happens, my love for her never changes. It’s not seasonal. And when I decided that she’d be the only girl in my life six years ago, it never altered. There were occasions when I might glance at other girls but that ends there. No matter how many girls are before my eyes, she’s different from them all. I have been faithful to the apple of my eye: Sarah. I admit that I’m somehow upset with all that’s happened lately but my love for her overpowers it all. And I go back to the definition of love that we’ve been holding on:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
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